Keeping Up with the Emiyas
by Shaded Cat
Summary: A welcoming family filled with strange misadventures, large dinner gatherings, drama, and the usual shenanigans when you make people capable of destroying the world in regular human bodies and forces contrivances onto them. Will be a series of hopefully interconnected one shots.


"Tou-san... Up." Pivoting from the laundry line, an impossibly tall man heard the voice of his son near his knee. A small grin on his face, large hands wrapped around the smaller body of his two-year-old son before putting the child upon his shoulder. A weight rested on the man's shoulders comfortably as small hands rested on top on his head as he continued once more to grapple with the laundry.

"I'm back home!" The ever-comforting voice of his wife rang through the entryway of the house before he called back "welcome back" with their young son echoing it in his quieter voice saying "back". She came up behind them now, hands coming up undoubtedly to coo at her son that she hadn't seen in a week as he sat on his father's shoulders as he worked diligently without pause.

"Shirou… What's for dinner."

A resounding deep chuckle came from the expected answer as she undoubtedly pouted cutely at him for her rare act of childishness, comforting to know any and all masks and fronts that his wife put up at work could easily fall away the moment she returned home, especially after a long overseas business trip.

"Well, I was thinking of going out to eat instead since you just came back…" He could feel her despondence, and wished very much to see it, yet kept his attention focused on the laundry. "But if you insist, I could make some yakiniku and agadashi tofu, with soba and mackerel on the side" He could feel her brighten up before she went up and kissed his cheek suddenly. He felt heat rush to his face now and she hugged him from behind.

"Thank you, Shirou!" Then she stood up on her tiptoes before kissing her son's check, to which the boy resting on the man's shoulder just squirmed in his mother's embrace. "Though maybe you should prepare more for… Visitors." He picked up the unmistakable intent in her voice as he tried to recall all the things he might need to make.

"Kaa-san…"

"I'M HOME!" Now a boisterous and bellowing voice came in conjunction with the door slamming open as their oldest child's voice came alongside her arrival from middle school. He could picture her already, her shoes being tossed aside haphazardly as she went to set her school bag aside. Her hair a mess from the day's activities, no doubt echoing her favorite "sensei-aunty's" temperament. "Welcomebackmom!" A figure rushed to hug her recently returned mother before racing away just as fast as before.

"I'm going in the bath first!"

"Welcome back."

"Don't track dirt into the house!"

"Kay!"

"Kaa-san… Down." Smiling softly, she let down her son off her husband's shoulder before he stretched his neck a little. He noted now that his son had gotten bigger than before. Now he understood how his father felt in regards to aging and carrying him on his shoulders.

"I better get started with dinner then." He heard his wife leading their son back inside the house as he carried the dried laundry back inside after them before depositing them back in their bedroom to fold later before returning once more back in the kitchen. He raised his hands up to pull his hair back out of his face, making sure no strays would fall whilst he prepared.

"Tou-san, do you need some help?" He felt the presence of his daughter next to him now, the heat from the bath still emanating off of her and onto him.

"Did you finish your homework first?"

"… Yes?"

"Why are you answering my question, with another question."

"I'm not?"

"…"

"…"

"You are very lucky I can't see, or else I would check myself." A nervous laugh came from his daughter while he went about getting out all he needed for dinner tonight. She wordlessly contributed, cutting up vegetables just like he taught her, cleaning and battering the fish while he made the miso broth and cleaned the meat.

The sound of the door opening once more followed by the sound of rushed footsteps was heard again, this time in a more thunderous noise. He then recalled that it was Friday today, which meant—

"Onii-chan!"

"Onii-chan!"

"Onii-chan…"

"Ah, Shirou, going dinner tonight as well?"

"My, my, Shirou being too busy is never going to be good for you."

"Shirou! Make a lot of meat!" He let out a small scuttle of laughter as the appearance of more guests, well he should have enough. He heard his daughter greet his relatives while he went to grab more ingredients out, at this point he'd prepared for the unintended but well-meaning dinner guests.

"Oh yeah Dad, Mom said they were coming over after they finished their work." A look of confusion overcame his features before a look of realization dawned on him and inwardly, he slightly panicked at what he realized. Did he even have enough food? Sometimes he wondered how he could satisfy his wife's appetites alongside their equally voracious daughter, but for the others to come would mean—

"Oi! Chichuie! Everyone is—Uwah, there's a lot of people here already!"

"Oi, Mordred, you're supposed to take your shoes off before you step in the house."

"Buzz of Gawain!"

"Sorry for the intrusion Emiya-san."

"Hehe, yes, er, sorry for intruding."

"Tou-san, where are you looking?"

"Ah, fellow sharp-sighted friend, no worries, we have also brought some food as well to contribute to this impromptu feast."

"Onii-chan, stop fighting with Mordred already!"

"Sunny idiot!"

"Lazy glutton!"

"Cease both of you." The sound of two head chops was heard as a man briskly went to supervise the two most "passionate" members of his wife's family. He let out a sigh of relief at the appearance of someone tame to help calm them down.

"Hi Uncle Agravain."

"Mmm." He could picture his daughter making the infamously sour-faced man at least nod and quirk something akin to a grin before the sound of another screech from Mordred and Gawain take the man's attention once more.

"Oi, need any more help in here? Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably thinks he can cook for almost twenty people on his own."

"Don't be so mean Kay."

"Uncle Kay! Uncle Bedivere! Grandpa Ector"

"Ah it's good to see you once again little one, you've grown taller!"

"Does anyone else need to—"

"No, Gawain!"

"Get out!"

"You are never allowed in this or any other kitchen so far as I live!"

"Alrighty then!" The sound of a figure turning sharply a hundred eighty degrees out of the kitchen had him let out a short bark of laughter before going back once more to cooking.

Now with more hands, the slight anxieties of cooking for such a large group was abated, he could only laugh at the surroundings of at least five more pairs of hands to help him. Soon everyone outside the kitchen fell into the familiar comforting banter that he once thought was a hindrance.

"My, my, he's gotten so big now."

"Baa-san…"

"Aw, he's so adorable!"

"Chichuie! Let me hold my little brother."

"Scary…"

"Eh!? Wha!"

"You heard that Mordred, you're too scary."

"EH?!"

"Ah, so the Russian trade deal went well."

"Indeed, I should thank you again for the translator that you arranged for us. She was quite… Persuasive."

"Haha, yes, she's… Something like that."

"Mashu! Lancelot brought alcohol again!"

"E-Eh! No, no! This is just celebratory champagne! I promise it's not wine, it's not even brandy!"

"I said no alcohol! Artoria-san's kids are too young to see that!"

"This is so sad… Where is Galahad?"

"He got stuck in transit… And ended up somewhere in Alaska for some reason."

"Eh?!"

"He sends his best wishes to everyone."

"Everyone! Dinner is ready!" His booming voice echoed throughout the house as the sanctimonious dinner bell as he, alongside his daughter, his brother-in-law, and his wife's oldest friend brought the food to the awaiting family, friends, and relatives. A wide display of meats, grains, vegetables, soups, stews, roasts, Eastern and Western food for the large crowd that someone how fit on a relatively small table.

This was family, rowdy, large, a little bit angry at each other sometimes, but this was something he would fight the world for. Everyone was here, everyone was safe.

"Kuro! Stop dumping your carrots on my plate!"

"This is mine!"

"No, its mine!"

"Wish I had some wine."

"I actually have some sake if you really—"

"No drinking!"

"Oh, dear husband, where exactly did you hide that?"

"H-Huh, oh, well, uh…"

"It's behind the flower vase of course…"

"Oi, Agravain, what exactly did that Russian woman say to me before we left?"

"It's best not to ask sometimes…"

Yes, this… This was the peace he found himself in.

"Seconds, dad!"

"Seconds Shirou!"

"Fourths!"

He wouldn't give this up for anything, not again.


End file.
